Letter to Biological Parents
To my biological mom and dad:
Hi, my name is Paige. I’m the daughter you had 15 years ago and decided to have adopted. That’s pretty much all you know about me, but I know even less about you. The adoption agency doesn’t have many records left from you guys, and my parents can’t tell me anything either, even though I know they would if they could.
It’s been really hard for me to accept this, the fact that I’ll never have any kind of relationship with you. My parents have given me everything I could have ever wanted, and they love me more than I can even fathom, but there’s still something in me that will never stop thinking about you two, my birth parents. It’s really hard not knowing anything about the people you came from and sometimes it makes me feel like I’ll repeat all your mistakes without even knowing what they are, without knowing that I’m doing it. It’s really scary to think about.
It also makes me angry. I wish I knew why you let me be adopted instead of trying to raise me yourselves. I’m not sad about it, and in fact I should probably thank you—I lucked out and got the most amazing parents ever, even if they’re really annoying a lot of the time. But it’s so frustrating that I don’t just knowmore frustrating than you can even imagine. It makes me feel like I’m missing a part of myself that everyone else has without even thinking about it, like who I am, like why I ended up here instead of with you, wherever you are. Was it me? Was it you? It drives me crazy that I’ll never know. I try not to blame you, but I do anyways.
I know I can’t send this letter, because I don’t know where either of you are. On the off chance that I somehow do find you someday, I’m not sure I’ll give it to you anyways. I guess I’ll confront that when I have to. I just needed to figure out what I really wanted to say to you, and I’m not even sure I got it all out, or that I got it all right, but I guess I have to start somewhere.
Video: MEETING MY BIRTH MOTHER FOR THE FIRST TIME!
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